Love and Alzheimer’s: February, 2019

Tuesday, February 5, 2019:  It is mid morning. We just took a walk in the sunshine but the temperature was a chilly 40 degrees. There were still some folks walking around in their shorts and tee shirts. We were bundled up. Vera is napping on the one chair in our bedroom while I am in the living room writing this onto the computer. 

I had not written for over two weeks. Not much happened, especially sexually in that time. We had a couple dates but Vera was not into it much. The last time I set up the bed she did not want to take her pants off. She told me that girls did not do that. I did myself and had a good time. Yesterday however was different. Vera was willing and able. She removed her pants without a fuss. I got into the sitting position and Vera lay perpendicular to me. As soon as I put my hand on her I could feel that she was orgasmic. I was already somewhat engorged from kissing before we got on the bed. I could feel Vera in my penis when I started touching her. I played with her pubic hair for a number of light passes and opened her labia and exposed her clitoris. I blew on it and Vera had contractions. My second favorite frame was when I put some lubricant on my middle finger and placed it by Vera’s introitus and she contracted around my finger. I was still having sensation in my crotch. My favorite part was playing with the lubricant on her inner left labia. Vera’s contractions and orgasm got stronger and stronger with each next stroke. It felt like I was doing her clitoris. When I finally got to her clitoris Vera kept feeling lots of sensation and asked me at one point what I was doing to her. I told her that I was giving her orgasm. Vera had some strong contractions on the way down as well when I toweled her off. I had a good time too. Vera did me for a few minutes and I finished myself off. I squirted quite a bit of semen.

Vera has been sleeping better since I stopped giving her this one pill (skullcap) at night. She was waking up in the middle of the night every few days and since I stopped she sleeps practically the whole night. 

It has been a year since we went to Florida and my mom passed away. I don’t think that we will be going there this year but there is still a small possibility. They are renovating the apartment there now. We have been watching quite a few good movies, many of them with Jessica Chastain as the lead role including: Miss Sloan, Molly’s Game and The Woman Walks in Front. I also still like reading the long American history book These Truths by Jill Lepore. Nixon was a rat from the beginning. 

Monday February, 11:  I wrote this for Vera.

You mix up words and what’s a name?

Your being comes through just the same

You may not always know what but you know what not

You get all my love and love what you got

I will warm you with your own body heat

To be with you is the reason my heart does beat

You know how to make my heart beat fast

You know how to combine the first and the last

You are the source you are the shine

You are my individual Valentine

You are the answer the answer of awe

I hear you dancing, dancing at dawn

Prancing about in your dream of dreams

Sometimes what appears is not what it seems

An angel signals a spiral of two

One is for me then one is for you

Interact, interdepend, and intertwine

In fact you you’ve been sent by Valentine

You feel what’s real and what is a ruse

You can separate and pick and politely choose

Or you may gather so that no one will lose

You are my angel and my adoring muse

Take me shake me for another roll

Into the other will conceive us whole

Then when you look you will certainly find

That your loving found you dear Valentine

I ask perhaps I can kiss your neck?

You  don’t answer so I give you a peck

Then you laugh and giggle oh so cute

I knew I was on, on the correct route

I hold your hand and brush your thigh

Can hear you moan and even sigh

You then applaud and gaze in my eye

Tears of joy you’ve made me cry

You removed your rings your ears are mine

I stroke your lobes till the end of time

If I didn’t kiss you it would be a crime

You are such an amazing Valentine

I love you with every fiber of my body, with each thought flung out to the universe, with every word put down on paper or even on an electric screen. Sometimes I desire to let the whole world in and sometimes I want to quietly tickle your being privately. You are an amazing receiver of all the wonderfulness that you trigger. My words are really your words, my thoughts come from your beauty. My deeds are just in response to your love.

Sunday, February 17:  I just gave Vera a shower. It went smoothly and Vera smells great. She is napping on the bed while her hair is drying. The plan is to take a walk once it dries. It is cool but very sunny out today. It has rained a bunch the past week but we found a gap in the rain to take one or two  walks each day. Vera slept well last night. She has been sleeping better in general though she does wake me up usually a couple times each night to either pee or by talking in her sleep. I have almost finished reading These Truths. I continue to see how fucked up America has been almost continually. I wonder if we will ever get it to a good place though there are moments and places that are. 

We had a lovely sensual date on Valentine’s day. It just seemed to be a good day for it, as I am not religious. Vera took off her pants without commenting and like the last shower things just went smoothly. She made no reference to pain, no coughing. Vera felt when I started stroking her thighs and it jumped a whole notch when I put a glob of lube along my finger and just rested it between her labia using a little pressure on occasion to change the dynamic. I then played with her left labia and Vera started moaning. I eventually got on her clitoris but kept it there only for short bursts at a time. I told Vera that it was OK to smile and she gave me a beautiful grin. Then I gave her one last peak and it was even better. She felt that first stroke like an electric connection or switch being turned on. I had a very nice orgasm too. I put Vera’s cold hand on my hot member and she got it engorged fully. I then put on some lubricant and we both did a number of peaks. I leaked but did not squirt like I had the previous couple of times.