Love and Alzheimer’s, August 2019

12 Apr

Monday, August 12:  I am even thinking up lines of this poem while I am dreaming. They are not any better than when I am awake but still excellent. We went to the skin surgeon place this morning to get my stitches out. The surgery went pretty well last week. They got the whole tumor on the first cut so it did not go deep. I think they may have taken off too much but I guess better safe than sorry. It hurt the first day and night but once I took the large bandage off it felt better. The little bandage tickles a little bit. After taking the stitches out I still have a crusty small wound. They said to keep it dry a bit longer. I miss swimming and will go today and keep my head above water. Luckily it was not too hot last week but this week is supposed to be warmer.

I did get Vera on the bed with her pants off pretty easily yesterday. I enjoyed playing with her thighs and torso at first from the side. Vera seemed to enjoy that. Vera’s pussy was wetter than usual. I got some lube and put it between her labia slowly and firmly. She liked that too. She had sporadic contractions. When I sat down by her side she had stronger contractions but they scared her and did not want too much of that. I proceeded slowly and taking breaks and got her to feel more but not too much to make her uncomfortable, which is what I really wanted. She felt and had some more contractions when I wiped off the lube. I did myself and enjoyed that a lot. 

Jennifer Paige who used to live with Helen and babysit for Angel and Danika came by for a couple of hours last week. I enjoyed talking with her and we traded book recommendations and TV shows. 

Friday, August 16:  It is almost lunchtime. Vera is sitting next to me napping on the armchair. I went swimming every day this week, as it has been very hot. Yesterday was the first time that I put my head under the water and I had fun and felt invigorated. 

I was going to self-pleasure because Vera was napping. She woke up while I was touching myself thru my clothing. I asked her if she wanted to get done and she surprised me by being agreeable to the offer. I led her to the bedroom and we kissed. I got her pants off and touched her legs sensually. We both got on the bed and I played with Vera’s thighs some more. I finally put my finger between her legs and she was wet again like the last time. I put some lubricant on my middle finger and added to that wetness. I teased her with quick light strokes on her introitus leading towards her clitoris and then slow firmer ones and so on. I played a bit on her clitoris and then back to some longer strokes. I kept her going for a few minutes like that. She did not get too intense but she was feeling and enjoying herself. She did not tell me that was enough or anything to that effect. I asked her if she had enough after a nice peak and she said that she did. Vera had a couple nice contractions when I toweled her off.

I was pretty turned-on almost the whole time playing with her pussy. We kissed during some of the breaks. I did not move to sit on her side like I often do. That seemed too intense for Vera last time. I got some lubricant and I had a fun time pleasuring myself while Vera watched. I put her thigh over my leg close to my genitals and that added to my pleasure. I did not squirt but did leak quite a bit. 

I finally finished Fall by Neal Stephenson. Fun adventure story and good sci-fi predictions. I also started a new non-fiction book by Mark Manson called Everything is Fucked. It also is very interesting and informative. The Uncomfortable Truth that everyone avoids with all kinds of religions including ideological and relationship ones as well as the spiritual ones that are there to give us hope. They are all bound to fail and hope is not being present so it leads back to Kant and Nietzsche and doing and living with unconditional love and respect etc.

I you were Psyche then I’d be Cupid

If you wanted quiet then I’d remain muted

If you like theorems then I’d be Euclid

If you preferred dumb then I’d learn to be stupid

If you were Hero then I’d be Leander

If you like slimy then I’d be a salamander

If you wanted to beat Athens then I’d be Lysander

If you were bamboo then I’d be a panda

If you wanted the truth then I’d use candor

If you wanted a leader then I’d be the commander

If you wanted time then I’d be a clock

If you want your feet warm then I’ll be a sock

If you want it closed then I’ll be a lock

If you want an anchor then I’ll be a rock

If you want to go in then I’m here to knock

If you like pointy ears then I’ll be Mr. Spock

If you want to make soup then I’ll be your stock

If you want to stir-fry then I’ll be your wok

If you were Michelle then I’d be Barack

If you are a woman then I’ll be a man

If you were Jane then I’d be Tarzan

If you were a quest then I’d be your plan

If you ware a highlander then I’d be your clan

If you want it clean then I’d be spic and span

If you were Wendy then I’d be Peter Pan

If you were Mantez Mahal then I’d be Shan Jahan

If you were the Mongolian Horde then I’d be Genghis Khan

If you like a mystery then I’ll be Charlie Chan

If you wanted a Latino dessert then I’d be some flan

If you were a golfer then I’d be under par

If you were anywhere then I’d still know where you are

If you were a drinker then I’d be the bar

If you were fusion then I’d be your star

If you were a wound then I’d be your scar

If you were a Czarina then I’d be your Czar

If you ask then I’d jump to help

If you wanted seaweed then I’d gather some kelp

If you were a review then I’d be your Yelp

If you write a letter then I’d give you an envelope

If you were Nancy then I’d be Sid Vicious

If you were a Scorpio then I’d be the sign of the fishes

If you were birthday candles then I’d be your wishes

If you liked good China then I’d be fine dishes

If you liked good diets then I’d be nutritious

If you were hungry and Jewish then I’d be nine Knishes

If you were Beauty then I’d be the Beast

If you wanted to rise then I’d be the yeast

If you wanted less then I’d be the least

If you wanted to watch the sunrise then I’d be the East

If you wanted a party then I’d throw you a feast

If you wanted to confess then I’d be the priest

If you were peanut butter then I’d be jelly

If you liked beer then I’d be your belly

If you liked Irish green then I’d be Kelly

If you preferred it to stink then I’d be smelly

If you were an elephant then I’d call you Ellie

If you were Mary Wollencraft then I’d be Percy Bysshe Shelley

If you were Walden then I’d be Thoreau

If you were like a raven then I’d be a crow

If you said nevermore then I’d be Edgar Allen Poe

If you were Agatha Christie then I’d be Hercule Poirot

If you were Bud Abbott then I’d be Lou Costello

If you liked poetry then I’d be Longfellow

If you liked jiggling then I’d be the Jell-O

If you liked melodious then I’ be mellow

If you were between green and orange then I’d be yellow

If you were Yo Yo Ma then I’d be a cello

If you were a blacksmith then I’d be your bellow

If you liked jealousy then I’d be Othello

If you were an encyclopedia then I’d be Diderot

If you were a mesa then I’d be a plateau

If you were Vera then I’d be aloe

If you were a Beetle saying goodbye then I’d say hello

If you were Daenerys then I’d be Jon Snow

If you were me then I’d be Big Bo

If you were the ocean then I’d be Jacques Cousteau

If you want to wait then I’ll be Godot

If you want a doctrine then I’ll be Monroe

If you were Larry or Curly then I’d be Moe

If you wanted rejection then I’d have to say no

If you were dependent then I’d be your co

If you were a stream then Id be your flow

If you were endless desire then I’d be your ego

If you were Rudyard Kipling then I’d be just so

If you were Daphne then I’d be Apollo

If you were Juliet then I’d be Romeo

If you were an ode then I’d be John Keats

If you were a chair then I’d be your seat

If you want a rendezvous then that’s how we’ll meet

If you were hungry then of course we would eat

If you were a bed then I’d be the sheet

If you were Times Square then I’d be 42ndStreet

If you were a parakeet then I’d want to tweet

If you wanted it orderly then I’d be very neat


Humble eyes receiving a radical rift

Upon a background of hallowed decay

Searching for nothing but a simple shift

Into the universe in which we play

A rocket ship launched and loaded

Trying to gain an earthbound lift

A gentle use of matter exploded

Into the heavens we daringly drift

Vibrating into a spectacular pattern

A nebulae of constant change

Passing Jupiter and ringed Saturn

Charging into a dangerous range

An angel glided to be my bride

She takes me with her in apparent ease

Soaring gracefully across the sky

Feeling my feelings she agrees to please

Holding me steady she takes to wings

Seraphs floating as they pass on by

Summer ready after many springs

Neither caring where or how high

Your courage is rewarded with gentle calm

Keeping you safe and out of harm

The cosmos in love with all your charm

I’m flying with you my dear arm in arm

If you were Ms. Piggy then I’d be Kermit

If you wanted solitude then I’d be a hermit

If you were a builder then I’d be a permit

If you wanted a second source then I’d confirm it

If you wanted to laugh then I’d be clowning

If you had not been then I’d be drowning

If you were interest then I’d be compounding

If you were in heat then I’d be howling

If you were the border then I’d be surrounding

If you were Elizabeth Barrett then I’d be Robert Browning

If you wanted it spicy then I’d be picante

If you want  Italian food then I’d be a ristorante

If you like the Giants then I’d be gigante

If you were Beatrice then I’d be Dante

If you were books then I’d be a library

If you liked birds then I’d be an aviary

If you wanted it light then I’d be luminary

If you were a breath then I’d be pulmonary

If you were a nun then I’d be a monastery

If you were a drug then I’d be an apothecary

If you were a gene then I’d be hereditary

If you were a dictionary then I’d be a vocabulary

If you were fictional then I’d be imaginary

If you were money then I’d be pecuniary

If you were Beatrice then I’d be Dante Alighieri

Thursday, August, 22:  I participated in a webinar this morning with Dave Ellis, probably my first one. The topic was looking at your different communities and identifying if you are a sender or a receiver. I do both but with family and friends there is too much complaining on their end and too much conversation hogging from them. I’ve been doing that already to some extent but can do a better job of it. 

I had a sensual date with Vera yesterday before dinner. I was going to play with myself but asked Vera first if she wanted to and she wanted to even though she did not fully understand what I was talking about. I played with her for a number of minutes. If I linger on her clitoris too long she is not thrilled so I teased her on and off and kept her going for a while. Vera also played with me for a couple of peaks until she had to go to the bathroom. It was fun for both of us.

Afterwards we took a walk, which was also after eating. Vera had to poop and got some on her leg by accident. I got her home and then naked again and got her into the shower quickly before she could mount a resistance. We then watched some baseball together. I’ve been adding lines regularly to the if then theme.

If you wanted to order then I’d be a clerk

If you were Steve Martin then I’d play a jerk

If you lived in Istanbul then I’d be a Turk

If you were the Enterprise then I’d be Captain James T. Kirk

August, 26:  I took the last of the CBD oil this morning and this time the THC level must have been higher because I felt it quicker and more intensely. Maybe it was the residue in the bottom that I added a little water to in order to get every last drop. 

Vera is sitting on the couch this moment taking a nap. It is after lunch after Jen’s step dad Don visited us. Told him the fish analogy to black holes that I just read in a book “The Jazz of Physics”. Two fish are swimming downstream. They can talk to one another but the first fish goes over this waterfall first and the rate of flow is faster than the speed of sound so the second fish does not get the warning from the first fish until it’s too late. The first fish can still hear the second fish. And black holes are the same with light instead of sound, which cannot escape but can be sucked in.

I’ve been training my body to feel more. I’ve found the best way to start is to rub my hands together quickly for any number of seconds. Then the sensation spreads over my body, some areas more sensitive than others. Then just feel that tingle. I started doing this exercise after reading Eckhart Tolle’s “Power of Now”, which highly recommends feeling our bodies more often no matter what we are doing. I do this exercise sometimes a number of times in a day. Sometimes I’ll feel my lips tingle or other areas. Another book that I read was “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Anyhow, one can add on habits to ones you are already doing. So when I’m talking with someone I’ll remember to feel my body.

I think doing the connections exercise was also beneficial in getting my body to feel more. 

When we walk we are almost always holding hands or Vera is holding my elbow. I switched to using my left hand sometimes, to even the load. My right elbow is feeling better already. Sometimes Vera pulls on it when she gets off balance and it has felt stressed. Today I let Vera take a few extra steps on smooth straightaways without any assistance. She did well.

If you were Natasha then I’d be Boris

If you liked cigarettes then I’d be Phillip Morris 

If you liked to sing then I’d join the chorus 

If you were Paul then I’d be the Walrus

If you liked leaks then I’d be porous

If you were Isis then I’d be Osiris or Horus

If you liked synonyms then I’d be a thesaurus

If you were a Dem needing money then I’d be George Soros

If you were Bullwinkle then I’d be Rocky

If you were a racehorse then I’d be a jockey

If you wanted the Stanley Cup then I’d play ice hockey

If you liked confidence then I’d be cocky

If you were a Khaleesi then I’d be a Dothraki

If you wanted sturdy then I’d be stocky

If you were Penelope then I’d be Odysseus

If you were a sexy nymph then I’d be party Zeus

If you were a white flag then I’d be the truce

If you were electricity then I’d be the juice

If you were Rocket J. Squirrel then I’d be Bullwinkle the Moose

If you were wild then I’d be a deuce

If you were a gander then I’d be a goose

If you were Ananda then I’d be a guru

If you were South America then I’d be Peru

If you wanted sticky then I’’ll be the glue

If you wanted a lead then I’d give you a clue

If you were Bud then I’d be Lou

If you were Lou then I’d be Bud

If you were clay then I’d be the mud

If you were Bugs bunny then I’d be Elmer Fudd

If you were a rampaging river then I’d be the flood

If you wanted a thoroughbred then I’d b your stud

If you wanted some potatoes then I’d be a spud

If you were Elizabeth Bennett then I’d be Mr. Darcy

If you were Jamie Lannister then I’d be Cersei

If you were Iranian then I’d speak Farsi

If you liked the outdoors then I’d be outdoorsy

If you were a buyer then I’d be a seller

If you caught twenty-two then I’d be Joseph Heller

If you were Happy then I’d be Nelson Rockefeller

If you desired a streetcar then I’d be Stella

If you liked Brooklyn catchers then I’d be Roy Campanella

If you were being rained on then I’d be an umbrella

If you liked voice music then I’d sing in a cappella

If you were Perry Mason then I’d be a street named Della

If you were Nordstrom’s then I’d be Zella

If you were Penn then I’d be Teller

Thursday, August 29:  It is shortly after lunch. Vera is sitting next to me. We went to some genetic counseling that my colon surgeon recommended. They will test my saliva for some genes. It did not seem that I would benefit much from this except to have to worry about whatever. The insurance may not even pay for it and I told her to pass on it in that case. The woman Margo was nice. She just had throat cancer herself from the HPV virus. She did not opt for genetic counseling. That told me something. 

Vera came with me and was quiet. They did not make us wait hardly at all, which is better than most medical things. Vera has been doing pretty well in general. She is very quiet when others are around. When she is with me she can get chatty on occasion. A lot of it is repetitive but I’ve decided to answer each time as for the first time.

Helen needed a bunch of money like her whole mortgage this month. She is trying to get a foothold but it’s slippery going. Her oldest daughter Kira moved out of her house, which should reduce her stress. Helen is also taking meds for high blood pressure and stress and a throat soreness. 

If you were late then I’d be tardy

If you were Stanly Laurel then I’d be Ollie Hardy

If you were bin Laden then I’d be a Jihadi

If you were Lenin then I’d join the Communist Party

If you want to eat after a show then I’d take you to Sardi’s 

If you liked gas then I’d be  farty

If you were Hardy then I’d be Laurel

If you were a reef then I’d be the coral

If you were ethical then I’d be moral

If you wanted my mouth then I’d be oral

If you were a flower then I’d be floral

If you wanted the usual then I’d be normal

If you wanted more then I’d be plural

If you were thirsty then I’d be wood sorrel

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