How to Get a Guy or Keep One

1 Sep

How to Get a Guy or Keep One

I’ve been lucky. I am a guy who has had a terrific woman guiding me for the past 30 years. Guys are not as complicated as you sometimes think they are. Yes they are different from women but actually a simpler variety of human being. The basic underlying characteristic of the male human is to want to feel productive. Our society judges men on their productivity so that is how he judges himself. The biggest gift that a woman can bring to a man is to have him feel that he has accomplished something, hopefully something that you desired.  A simple act such as a smile or being joyful and acknowledging your guy as the reason for such will have him living on cloud 9. The more appreciation and approval that you can throw his way will have him functioning and performing at a higher and more productive level. It is that simple and so is your guy.

A woman can be productive too yet our society still judges women on their attractiveness. How can attractiveness be judged? Actually it looks like she is getting what she wants and what she desires. It is her ability to like herself just the way she is; she does not have to lose wait to be attractive. She does not have to be younger to be attractive. She does not have to wear the most expensive designer outfits to be attractive. She does have to like and yes even love herself just the way she is.  A man will be attracted to this kind of a woman. Then all she has to do is have him feel that he is useful in relationship to her and he will want to keep doing those things that have him feel that way.

The highest category that a woman can have a man do for her or to her is his attention. Attention includes his ability to skillfully pleasure her as well as noticing everything about her including what mood she is in, that is, how you are feeling and being. This may require some training as many men have been living either on their own or with some other woman who has not guided him very well. They are either green raw material or old material that responds differently than what you might have expected or hoped for. Luckily as I have said, men are quite simple; a little positive approval will have them on track in less time than you might think. When my wife first got married in the 1950s her wise old grandmother, I think she was already 90 years old gave Vera a book on how to train a poodle. The upshot from the book was that you reward good behavior and you don’t bother with any of the negative conduct that the poodle might have done. It may require some patience on your part. Remember to be joyous about any amount of headway that he is making.

Of course I am not saying that guys are canines but there is another similarity. Often when you ask your guy for something his first response may be something like a growl. That is just his way of getting started on the project and he will have doubts as to either his ability to do it or the necessity of it. The more you can keep your enthusiasm and joy at just being able to express your desires will have him come around to do your bidding. You also do not have to constantly repeat yourself as he has obviously heard you. The ability to produce by a guy is actually achieved with the righteousness and pleasure of your desires being the source and energy for his actions.   Your consuming the production of your desires with relish will enable you to continue to be attractive and desirous. Desires which are manifested and produced that are not consumed are equivalent to garbage and desires that are consumed joyfully are equivalent to beauty.

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